La Devocion

La Devocion, the first film that I was in, was only recently completed and is now being submitted to film festivals. The director sent it to Portland's Longbaugh Film Festival this week and knowing the Executive Director, I emailed him to ask him to keep an eye out for it, which he graciously said that he would. I am apprehensive, now, for two reasons. The first is the usual apprehension that I have with this film: I appear naked (full frontal twice, just breasts a couple times and in a sex scene). In filming I didn't think that I would be so exposed. I had hoped that the director would play with camera a bit more to show that I was naked without being so focused on my actual naked body. Anyhow, it's done. It adds value to the character's vulnerability and shows her humanity...I'm able to see that and that's what the director says he was going for.

The second apprehension that I have is that people won't take the film seriously because it's not the greatest quality. It was shot with a mini dv and the director had no budget. It was tough to find people to help, which meant that there were many times when we didn't have help with lighting or sound, and it shows. Now, having said that, the film actually comes together nicely (the content of it), if those who have a technical eye can look past the technical issues (which aren't always bad, but there are moments that make you, well, cringe a bit - that was my experience, anyways).

However, it is important to say that there was also a point where the director knew that his limited resources affected the quality of the film, so he tried to use it in his filming; work with it instead of pretend like the issues didn't exist. So, it's a mixed bag.

La Devocion actually comes together better than I thought that it would. In fact, in watching it, I found that I nearly forgot that I was watching myself and actually cared about the character...or hated her. That is, until my naked body splashed across the screen and I was fully aware that it was entirely me that I was watching!

We'll see what Longbaugh thinks. If they accept it into the festival I'm really going to have to get over my discomfort of everyone seeing me naked. See, now having said that, I must remind myself that I have been naked on stage before in Pure Gold Baby. And, the Executive Director of the film festival actually came to that show, so he's already seen me naked! I have nothing to worry about!

But, obviously I do worry. And for good reason as I am just reminded of a time that I went to audition for a local film director and my fiance and I were paired up to audition a scene together. As we walked into the room the director said, "Aislinn! It's nice to see you with your clothes on. The last time I saw you, you were naked!" That was incredibly awkward, especially since it was in front of my fiance. But it concerned me that I was going to become known as the actor who gets naked and not be taken seriously. And now if La Devocion makes it to the big screen, what will people think? I wish I could say I didn't care, but I do.

I don't think my discomfort will be assuaged until more people see the film and I get their reactions/opinions/comments.

Love,
Aislinn

The West Side Experience

There is a reason we stay home, in bed, when we're sick. As obvious as the reason is, I didn't heed my better judgment when Neil and I went to see West Side Story at PCS a couple nights ago. I had already purchased the tickets, I really wanted to see the show and I really wanted to see the new PCS space.

But I was miserable the entire time. My nose was running, I was trying not to sneeze, I had to blow my nose when ever the audience would clap so I could hide the sound. I was hoping that the show would take me out of reality for a bit by mesmerizing me, but it didn't. Unfortunately, I just wasn't enchanted by it at all...in fact, I didn't buy into much of it, either.

I was surprised that the acting wasn't better...yes, there were a few actors who stuck out (in particular, Ivette Sosa, who played Anita), but for the most part I just didn't believe them and they didn't hold my attention...which left me to focus on how miserable I felt.

I think the reason that I focused on how lackluster the acting was for me, though, was not my trying to be a critic or even view the show with a critical eye, but it was me viewing it as an actor. I go to shows and I can't help but think, first of all, how I would do it (could I even do it) and, second, knowing a little about the work that is done as an actor, whether it's coming across. There are a few ways of "coming across" to decipher: is it believable, are you engrossed in the character and believe that the actor is coming from a truthful place? Or is the actor just "playing" what they are trying to convey? And that's what my experience was of most of the acting in West Side Story.

I would love to be in a production at PCS, but there's that part of me that worries that I'm not good enough, not trained enough, not experienced enough...but then there's also that part of me that knows that I have gotten some great training, particularly with Neal Corl, and I could handle it. Seeing a great many of the actors "play" their parts in West Side Story actually gave me some hope that I could perform at the equity level and that I should really give it a shot. Now I just have to figure out how to "get in"...

Love,
Aislinn