Here Comes the Doubt

So I opened up the first part of my memoir about the Sun Dance and meeting Neil the other night. Whoa. My writing seemed so juvenile. The structure of my sentences was horrendous. It was also Part I and I'm confident that my writing progressed the further I got into the story. It took a whole term to write as I was only writing three to four pages of it at time...hence the "parts". However, reading that first piece the other night was a bit disheartening and now the doubt is beginning to seep in.

Of course I edited Part I that night, but it needs much more work. I began to wonder if I should spend my time trying to edit and better what's already there or to just start fresh on something else. But there's the catch: I can't think of anything I want to write about right now.

One of my new year's resolutions is to write in my journal every day. I haven't made the same commitment to write outside of my journal (i.e. this blog or free writing) as often, so a lame generalization will have to suffice: I hope to write in my blog more regularly. The more I write, the more the creative juices will start to flow.

My other resolutions include being more present with my friends, not working myself to exhaustion and getting my real estate license. For some reason I have such a block to getting my license...I've been saying I was going to get it for about 5 years now. I have to buckle down and do it. I'm signed up with a school already and they only give you a year to complete the training. I have three months until my enrollment expires.

I'm trying to get a good rhythm going with working to achieve my resolutions before I get lazy or distracted or give up. We'll see how it goes. I won't be editing my Sun Dance essays tonight...or for a few more nights...not a good start! But I won't give up!

Love,
Ais