My kids
I got a call from my eldest godson yesterday. Come on, Aunty, he said. Hurry! He's 3. His mom told him we were coming over and he was getting impatient. Where's Buzz Years, he asked. Neil is Buzz Light Year, from Toy Story, to him. Although, just yesterday he shortened it to Buzz.
Spending time with my godsons makes me want to have children. And even more so when I see how good Neil is with them...and how much they love him. Neil will be a great dad and I look forward to having children with him. We're getting married this year and that brings the thought of kids closer to being a reality. Yet, that thought scares the crap out of me. I think I will be a wonderful mom, so it's not that that scares me. It makes me evaluate my life...go through a sort of mental checklist to see if I've "done enough" in my life before I "settle down."
There is certainly that part of me that wants to wait at least a couple more years...and in those years, I tell myself, I should give my all to my aspirations to act and write. You know, give myself a chance to "make it" before the chance is lost when children come into the picture. I know that in reality kids won't stop me from pursuing acting and writing, but the fear is that it will. That my chances will be gone once I'm responsible for someone else's life.
It's a struggle that many face, I'm sure. I really should take this time to heavily pursue my acting, yet there is a block. There are so many other things in my life right now that take up so much time...but I think I use that as an excuse. I'd also like to get my masters before I have kids...and that would have to come after I get my real estate license. It's hard not to get overwhelmed when trying to figure out what to do with your life. I trust that the universe will guide me...but that's easier said than done.
If I can help it, my godsons will have to be my only children for awhile, and what beautiful kids they are.
Love,
Aislinn
Spending time with my godsons makes me want to have children. And even more so when I see how good Neil is with them...and how much they love him. Neil will be a great dad and I look forward to having children with him. We're getting married this year and that brings the thought of kids closer to being a reality. Yet, that thought scares the crap out of me. I think I will be a wonderful mom, so it's not that that scares me. It makes me evaluate my life...go through a sort of mental checklist to see if I've "done enough" in my life before I "settle down."
There is certainly that part of me that wants to wait at least a couple more years...and in those years, I tell myself, I should give my all to my aspirations to act and write. You know, give myself a chance to "make it" before the chance is lost when children come into the picture. I know that in reality kids won't stop me from pursuing acting and writing, but the fear is that it will. That my chances will be gone once I'm responsible for someone else's life.
It's a struggle that many face, I'm sure. I really should take this time to heavily pursue my acting, yet there is a block. There are so many other things in my life right now that take up so much time...but I think I use that as an excuse. I'd also like to get my masters before I have kids...and that would have to come after I get my real estate license. It's hard not to get overwhelmed when trying to figure out what to do with your life. I trust that the universe will guide me...but that's easier said than done.
If I can help it, my godsons will have to be my only children for awhile, and what beautiful kids they are.
Love,
Aislinn
posted by Aislinn at
9:42 PM
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