The Present

I met with Neal Corl today to discuss Dangerous Writing, a film that we will be working on together at the end of this month and in June. It was very helpful. Neal asked me questions that I have failed to ask myself thus far. Just goes to show that I need to train myself more to ask questions (even though Neal has said that over and over again, I haven't been very diligent with it, obviously). I started to get frustrated with myself, but I am quickly letting it go so as not to block the work that I really need to do.

I am so used to "performing" with my acting. Training with Neal in the past, and working with him on projects, has really helped me to work from myself. And it is a continuous learning experience connecting to yourself. We go our wholes lives, perhaps, not knowing who we "truly" or "really" are as a human being. But what I have learned is that when I am present and connected, I have a pretty good idea of who am I in the moment. And I am also learning to not apologize or make excuses for who I am. Because who I am is where I base my exploration from. If you don't have that, where do you start, or how do you hold steady? That's what's helping me right now, anyways.

I'm feeling insecure with the first scene of the movie and you can bet that I'm going to use that in my work! That right there takes so much pressure off (to "perform"). And in lifting the pressure I trust that I can be present to the reality of the scene and explore from there.

This is exciting!

Love,
Aislinn