Private Parts

I am a very private person. Over the last few years I have become increasingly anti-social and I get very shy in public or when meeting new people. I don't put myself out there well, which is why I haven't had more acting work. Yet, I can stand naked on stage in front of a full audience. I can work on a film where the camera is focused only on me. Perhaps that's why I need the other areas of my life to be very private. It takes a lot out of me to be "on" and "out there" when working on a project.

Now, my fiance, on the other hand, is the complete opposite. He thrives being in the spot light...in EVERY aspect of his life. Quite frankly it drives me nuts. I know I will have to deal with it for the rest of our lives and that will be a struggle. He likes to be every one's hero. He needs people around him to validate him. Sometimes I feel that there aren't enough boundaries, but I trust him and it's his journey to figure out.

Yet the more "out there" that he gets, the more inward I want to go. This will be an interesting challenge in our marriage. There's that part of me that wonders why I'm not enough for him; why he has to get so much attention from other places. But I know that it's just who he is...he likes to know what's going on with everyone.

Admittedly, I am a jealous person when it comes to my man. I want him all to myself and that is not realistic. So what doesn't seem like a big deal to him is big to me, but I'm working on that. I do have a Leo moon, so my emotional side wants to be the center of attention. I just get my fix in more productive ways...but I still need to get my fix.

Speaking of fix, we begin shooting Dangerous Writing this weekend and I am quite excited. It is going to be a long weekend but I am thrilled to spend it with the talented people who are working on the film. To me, there is nothing like the feeling of being on set. What a lucky girl I am.

Love,
Aislinn