La Devocion at Rooftop Films

La Devocion, the very first film that I was in, is premiering at Rooftop Films in Brooklyn this Saturday. The film is rough. We had no crew and when I filmed, it was basically me, the director and the other lead actor. But a story is there. In watching it, I have actually found that I forget that I'm watching myself and am affected by the character.

I've spoken of this film on my blog before. I'm mentioning it now because there is a write up of it on the Rooftop Films Web site (http://rooftopfilms.com/show_07-ladevocion.html) and the director, who is flying to New York tomorrow for the screening, called me about it today. The festival is really championing this film. It's wonderful to have your work supported anyways, but this means a lot to us because we all (the director, me, the other actors) went through many transformations and frustrations to make this movie. It is very rewarding to have the film be so highly regarded by this festival. I hope the viewers enjoy it. The film is definitely a mixed bag.

Love,
Aislinn

Our First Doctor's Visit

We went to our first doctor's appointment today and they did an ultrasound of the baby. Turns out I'm about 12 weeks along...which puts my due date on March 12. My birthday is March 16. Pretty interesting.

We got to hear the baby's heart beat and we could actually see it beating. I was quite amazed at how well we could see the baby. We could see the legs and feet, the arms and hands. How amazing.

Here's our beautiful baby:


In awe,
Aislinn

Life Lessons

I've been reading a lot lately, which is wonderful for me. Now that I'm not working, I let myself wake up slowly and then I allow myself to read for however long I feel. I've been reading a series of books by Lynn V. Andrews, who is a shaman and an apprentice to a powerful Native American medicine woman. The books can be tedious at times, but there are many lessons and good teachings that keep me propelling forward.

I think perhaps the most recent, and powerful, lesson that I've gotten out of these books is how life and being human is really just a game. That's my terminology, FYI. Of course, it's always easier said than done, but I have long felt that we humans take life way too seriously, myself being a huge offender. There is so much more that we can do as human and as spiritual beings, but we don't even know it because we allow ourselves to get so bogged down with "life" - which to me is really social pressures.

I believe that if we can realize and accept that we are capable of powers beyond what our human mind limits us to have, then that power will naturally begin to unfold. But, if we continue to think that we are only capable or worthy of so much, or of a certain limit, then that is where we will continue to dwell.

I like this quote from one of the books: "Look at the magnificence of possibility in an individual. And then look at what they are, and you locate their pain, their tragedies, their incompleteness. This creates a space between what is and what could be. It is in the void that enlightenment exists. It is from here that we all come and must again return."

Not allowing my mind to limit myself will be a lifelong journey.

Love,
Aislinn

The Wedding Dress

My wedding dress came in today. I went into the store and tried it on. It didn't fit! Guess I've gained a little baby weight. At least I have an excuse. The dress, even though the attendant couldn't get it to zip up all the way, is so beautiful. I basically have to hope that my stomach doesn't get any bigger but that my breasts do. Thank goodness for alterations.

The wedding is only six weeks away. While I've tried to have fun with the whole experience, I'm starting to take the stance of, I just don't want to be a burden. There is a lot to ask of people when you're planning a wedding. I don't want those people to end up resenting me. I feel that my friends and family are emanating an air of inconvenience. That could also be my own projection.

Our wedding day feels like it has been a long time coming and I am quite anxious for the day to finally be here. I like instant gratification, so having to wait 10 months, from the time that we set the actual date, has been agonizing. I had a dream recently that I had my wedding gown on and my bridesmaids were all dressed up, too, and then I found out (in my dream) that we still had two weeks to go. I woke up feeling that even if I did have two weeks to go from that moment in real life, it seemed like too long. But, I think the reason why it seems so long is that if we're ready to say our vows "now", why wait months and months and spend a ton of money to do so? I was actually laughing about that with one of my bridesmaids today. It seems so silly. But, the reason why we're having a ceremony is because it's deeply important to both Neil and I to have our friends and family there to support us and witness our vows. And I've always felt that if I'm going to have a ceremony...and I'm only going to be doing it once...then go for it! Plus, admittedly, I can be a bit of princess when it comes to getting what I want. I won't lie. I think it's a product of my upbringing, but I haven't chosen to do away with it. After a certain point, however, I really don't want to be a burden. Let's just get it taken care of and have some dang fun in the process!

Love,
Aislinn

The Wild World of Editing

I have been taking an online editing class and while it can be tedious I am actually learning a lot. I am also terrified to write because my grammar and syntax will reveal how I lack the proper use of language. I have become accustomed to writing the way that I think, which, I should note, is encouraged by an editor to a certain degree, but it doesn't mean that you can ignore (or be plain ignorant of) certain rules of language. Just now, it took several minutes to re-read and edit those three sentences. Oh, boy.

That being said, I will forge ahead and try to keep in mind what I have been learning. I'm just amazed at all the things an editor has to stay on top of: parallel construction, expletives, nominals, voice (passive versus active). And that's on top of spelling, grammar, capitalization and number rules. I'm having a hard time keeping it all straight in my mind. But, practice makes perfect, I suppose. Wait, that's a cliche and I should try to avoid those...

Anyways, I have to go. Neil and I are heading to Bend tonight to spend the weekend with my dad and step-mom and I need to finish packing. We're going to meet with our minister tomorrow morning then head out to Brasada Ranch, the resort that we're having the ceremony at (and the resort that my dad manages), to see the newly built club house. It will be nice to finally see the space where Neil and I will be vowing our love and commitment. Ah, how sweet.

Love,
Aislinn

And Baby Makes Three

Yes, folks, Neil and I are going to have a baby. I'm about 7 weeks along. It's one of the reasons why I haven't written in a while. My grandfather (my mom's dad) passed away two weeks ago and the very next morning we found out that I was pregnant. Then, a week later, I was laid off from work (both a blessing and a stresser). So, life has been very full.

Neil and I are excited, scared, joyful, nervous...everything new parents should be, I suppose. And besides the major task of preparing for a baby, we still have a lot ahead of us: our wedding is in exactly two months from today, Neil's job ends on Labor Day, I'm going to visit my mom in Hawaii over Labor Day weekend, we're going to Cancun for our honeymoon a week after the ceremony and Neil starts the Paramedic program at PCC in January. Plus, we're hoping to move into a house. But, I feel good about it. I am really putting my faith in the universe that we are supported and everything will be wonderful.

Well, I'm off for now. Just wanted to (finally) share the good news!

Love,
Aislinn

Most of us think that acting is something easy, or even glamorous. I maintain that to do it well, it's one of the toughest jobs there is. In fact, I think that actors are some of the bravest people I know. Because on a regular basis they willingly explore places in their hearts and minds most of us try to avoid our whole lives.

Victor Salva, director