The Stripper
Well, last night was my bachelorette party and I was apprehensive of the male stripper set to arrive at 9:30. And since I couldn't drink, I was the only sober one in the room. My girlfriends were drinking heavily, trying to be as blasted as possible when he arrived, but they didn't have much time. The stripper actually showed up 20 minutes early and Jacqui, one of my bridesmaids, asked him to go to the bar on the corner, get a drink, and come back in 20. Nicely, he did. And when he did come back, I was not expecting what I got.
This short man walks into the house as twangy banjo music begins to blare through the speakers. He wore brown Carhart over-alls and his mullet wig hung to his torso. I was aghast that Jacqui had actually found a male stripper with a mullet wig (I have a particular obsession with mullets/fullets; I don't know where it started, but I find them hideously delightful). I began to laugh hysterically and then felt bad when "Maximus" called me out on it. He'd understand if he knew me. Even in his get up, it was certainly rude to laugh at the man the minute he walked through the door.
As Maximus started "dancing", I couldn't tell if the ladies were horrified or hot for him. He was cute and had a nicely toned body with many tattoos, and thankfully he wore tight, black shorts - not the bright banana hammock I was dreading. I think what shocked us, however, was that we expected him to simply dance, not throw his leg above our heads and jiggle his crotch in our face, or snort at us like a bull then run full speed and straddle us - his chest smacking us in the face - or to pick me up, whip me around and hump on me, doggy style. Since I've never experienced a private stripper, I suppose I didn't know what to expect. But, honestly, it was not hot for me. I was rather horrified at times. Though, what I did find particularly joyful was watching this man wipe his sweaty body all over my friends (I stood up after awhile and tried to inconspicuously hide behind a chair). I stuffed many dollars in my girlfriends' cleavage and down their pants so the stripper would keep busy with them.
When it came time for my final dance, however, I sat back on the couch and prepared myself to enjoy it. As Maximus shimmied and shook his perfect buns in my face, my friend Nancy popped out from the back of the house in her bra and thong and joined the shimmying. I don't think Maximus knew what to do. He faltered a bit in his rhythm, but soon enjoyed Nancy smacking his ass while she shoved her own in my face. Now, that was awesome!
We all cooled down for a bit, then a second attempt to dance and a hard on later, Jacqui politely excused Maximus from any further service and we got back to our drinking games. Man, I have never drunken so much 7-up!
Love,
Aislinn
This short man walks into the house as twangy banjo music begins to blare through the speakers. He wore brown Carhart over-alls and his mullet wig hung to his torso. I was aghast that Jacqui had actually found a male stripper with a mullet wig (I have a particular obsession with mullets/fullets; I don't know where it started, but I find them hideously delightful). I began to laugh hysterically and then felt bad when "Maximus" called me out on it. He'd understand if he knew me. Even in his get up, it was certainly rude to laugh at the man the minute he walked through the door.
As Maximus started "dancing", I couldn't tell if the ladies were horrified or hot for him. He was cute and had a nicely toned body with many tattoos, and thankfully he wore tight, black shorts - not the bright banana hammock I was dreading. I think what shocked us, however, was that we expected him to simply dance, not throw his leg above our heads and jiggle his crotch in our face, or snort at us like a bull then run full speed and straddle us - his chest smacking us in the face - or to pick me up, whip me around and hump on me, doggy style. Since I've never experienced a private stripper, I suppose I didn't know what to expect. But, honestly, it was not hot for me. I was rather horrified at times. Though, what I did find particularly joyful was watching this man wipe his sweaty body all over my friends (I stood up after awhile and tried to inconspicuously hide behind a chair). I stuffed many dollars in my girlfriends' cleavage and down their pants so the stripper would keep busy with them.
When it came time for my final dance, however, I sat back on the couch and prepared myself to enjoy it. As Maximus shimmied and shook his perfect buns in my face, my friend Nancy popped out from the back of the house in her bra and thong and joined the shimmying. I don't think Maximus knew what to do. He faltered a bit in his rhythm, but soon enjoyed Nancy smacking his ass while she shoved her own in my face. Now, that was awesome!
We all cooled down for a bit, then a second attempt to dance and a hard on later, Jacqui politely excused Maximus from any further service and we got back to our drinking games. Man, I have never drunken so much 7-up!
Love,
Aislinn
posted by Aislinn at
12:30 PM
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