Spoiled Brat
So, I have to admit that I find myself a little jealous of my friend that I ran into at New Seasons a few weeks ago. There are actually many similarities between her and me, but she seems - to me anyways - always a step ahead of me. She married a well-known body piercer who is pretty well off and has provided her with a nice car to drive (a mercedes), a nice house (on a 1/2 acre on Mt. Scott) and a budget for shopping (she's quite into fashion - she started to go to college for it, then she met her husband). But it's not just the material things that I envy. Her husband is very dedicated - he and their eldest daughter have special father-daughter nights on their sail boat. They go on vacation quite often - their most recent trip was to Vancouver, BC; it was their 4th time there. She has an amazing circle of friends - her best friend even bought the house across the street so they could live next to each other.
Now, I'm honestly not trying to make this sound like a pity party, but here is my situation in comparison:
I have a 10-year-old Subaru that just had it's speedometer quit working. We live in a tiny, two-bedroom duplex. The last article of clothing that I bought was new underwear when all mine started to rip at the seams while I was pregnant (I'd like to think that it was because they were old, but I think my weight gain played a part in it). My husband is dedicated, for sure. He's so busy going to school, doing his clinicals and working 12 hour days when not in school or at some hospital. We usually see him after 9:30 at night, when he's very tired and just wants to crash. So, it sucks that we hardly get to see him, but he's working hard to support us. For that, I am very grateful. But, I also want my son to see his dad. We've never been to Canada and I've wanted to go to Vancouver for a very long time (I even considered moving there to go to the Vancouver Film School). Yes, we have gone to Hawaii many times to visit my mom, but now that she lives here, I don't see us going there for a very long time. And we certainly don't have the money to go anywhere for a while either. My friends are few and far between, especially since I've had a baby. Plus, my best friend just moved to California.
The most recent thing for me, though, that raises my jealousy is that I have been trying to arrange a trade with an acquaintance that is a professional photographer (she has photographed Storm Large and Wade McCollum, to name a couple - http://www.domela.com/). She said she would do a photo shoot for Riley and I, but she's very difficult to connect with and I haven't heard from her in a couple weeks. Well, I just found out that my friend also knows a pro photographer and they just did a photo shoot for her new baby, and the whole family. I've seen some of the photos and they are amazing. I want photos of Riley so bad!
So, that's why I'm feeling like she's always one step ahead of me. I know I should never compare my life to someone else's. I know I have things that she doesn't, and I also know that everything is the way it should be. And I am so grateful for what I have. I know that I have it much better than many people. I'm ashamed of this jealousy, but I'm trying to figure out why I have it. Neil is always telling me that I'm spoiled. Maybe I am just a spoiled brat (though, in my defense, I have worked hard for a lot of what I have) and I just want more. I don't know what else to say about it at this point, but I'm working on it.
Love,
Aislinn
Now, I'm honestly not trying to make this sound like a pity party, but here is my situation in comparison:
I have a 10-year-old Subaru that just had it's speedometer quit working. We live in a tiny, two-bedroom duplex. The last article of clothing that I bought was new underwear when all mine started to rip at the seams while I was pregnant (I'd like to think that it was because they were old, but I think my weight gain played a part in it). My husband is dedicated, for sure. He's so busy going to school, doing his clinicals and working 12 hour days when not in school or at some hospital. We usually see him after 9:30 at night, when he's very tired and just wants to crash. So, it sucks that we hardly get to see him, but he's working hard to support us. For that, I am very grateful. But, I also want my son to see his dad. We've never been to Canada and I've wanted to go to Vancouver for a very long time (I even considered moving there to go to the Vancouver Film School). Yes, we have gone to Hawaii many times to visit my mom, but now that she lives here, I don't see us going there for a very long time. And we certainly don't have the money to go anywhere for a while either. My friends are few and far between, especially since I've had a baby. Plus, my best friend just moved to California.
The most recent thing for me, though, that raises my jealousy is that I have been trying to arrange a trade with an acquaintance that is a professional photographer (she has photographed Storm Large and Wade McCollum, to name a couple - http://www.domela.com/). She said she would do a photo shoot for Riley and I, but she's very difficult to connect with and I haven't heard from her in a couple weeks. Well, I just found out that my friend also knows a pro photographer and they just did a photo shoot for her new baby, and the whole family. I've seen some of the photos and they are amazing. I want photos of Riley so bad!
So, that's why I'm feeling like she's always one step ahead of me. I know I should never compare my life to someone else's. I know I have things that she doesn't, and I also know that everything is the way it should be. And I am so grateful for what I have. I know that I have it much better than many people. I'm ashamed of this jealousy, but I'm trying to figure out why I have it. Neil is always telling me that I'm spoiled. Maybe I am just a spoiled brat (though, in my defense, I have worked hard for a lot of what I have) and I just want more. I don't know what else to say about it at this point, but I'm working on it.
Love,
Aislinn
posted by Aislinn at
11:07 PM
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