Oh Holy Shit

Our trip to Sacramento was horrendous. The traveling was fine. Riley's first plane ride went very well - he fell asleep shortly after take off and woke up as we were getting off the plane. He completely freaked out, however, when we got to Neil's grandma's house (a.k.a Batchi). There were several family members there and they were very loud and Riley just burst out in tears. I asked Neil's aunt, who lives with Batchi, where I could lay down with the baby and she directed me to her room - the room that we were also supposed to stay in during the trip. It wreaked like smoke and she had an ashtray next to the bed with cigarette butts in it. She couldn't stop smoking in her room for one day, knowing that a baby was going to be sleeping in it? Plus, it's the room that Neil's mother died in. So, Neil decided that we would stay with his brother instead.

Well, this didn't go over well with his aunt because Neil told Batchi instead of her and she got all butt-hurt. She's a little over dramatic. And, all she talked about was her dead sister - Neil's mom - as if the family needs to be reminded of her death over and over. I shouldn't dog on her, but there were so many other things that happened with her - and her son - on this trip that I'm not going to talk about out of respect for Neil's family. They were jaw dropping events. And it was one right after the other - even my sister-in-law said she felt bad for us because our whole trip was just drama after drama. Neil said that his family is sad and embarrassing. I wish I could go into specifics because they make for really good stories, but Neil wouldn't appreciate his family's issues hanging out for everyone to know.

The good that came out of the trip was that I got to actually meet a lot of Neil's family members and old friends - put faces to names - and that Neil got to see what his life used to be like, and how better off he is now. I understand Neil's past now and what makes him who he is. He has come a long way and I am so proud of the changes that he's made in his life. I felt horribly out of place, but Neil did too because he's evolved. I felt bad for him for that, but I was also glad for it because I would be horrified if he wanted to go back to his old friends and old ways. I keep saying horrified because it's the only word I can think of to describe how it was for me. And for Riley. He really had a hard time, too. And he did not like Neil's aunt. He cried every single time she picked him up. It's good to know my boy is discerning.

When we got home, Neil stopped in the middle of the living room and sighed that it was so good to be home. Neil has held on to a lot of old stuff from his past, and I think this trip helped him to realize that he needs to let it go now. Family is family, and he will always love his family, but the lifestyle can change. They haven't changed down there in Sacramento, but Neil has. And, he's aiming for better things for our little family.

Now Riley has a cold, poor thing. His cousin got a double ear infection while we were down there - the son of the brother that we were staying with - so I've been nervous about Riley being sick. I called his doctor's office today but they think it's just a virus.

Oh god, I am so glad to be home. And, I am so glad that I was born to two conscientious parents who worked hard to make sure I had a good, healthy life.

Love,
Aislinn