Back to Bend
Well, I'm back in Bend for a week. Seems like the only place where I'm able to pay attention to my blog. Riley is crawling now, which means I am always on my toes...and means less time to devote to the Internet. But, alas, I'm in Bend where I don't have the normal house duties and errands occupying my time.
It's been a rough week. My step-mom is not doing well. She's at their house in Arizona and my dad had to fly down to be with her. Things might be looking up now that he's there, but I'm not trusting it yet. She's really put my dad through hell recently, which is hard on us, too. As frustrated as I am by what we've been through, it's hard to forgive her for what she's doing to my dad - and to herself. That day will come, though, where I have to decide whether to forgive her and trust or to just say no thanks to the relationship. Being that she's my dad's wife, the latter option is not the best for all involved. But trusting her again will take a lot of time. For now, we're just waiting to see what direction she'll step into.
So, that's largely what I've been dealing with. The positive events have been being in a children's fashion show with Riley last Friday (I got to push him in a high-tech, $1000 stroller - and carry a very sweet little nine-month-old girl down the catwalk) and spending time with some friends' 10-year-old daughter, who was awesome help with Riley. And, I got to see Neil after two weeks apart. Riley was a little cautious with him at first, but by his bedtime he was crawling all over his dad and laughing and shrieking with him.
That's why I don't want to spend too much time apart. Riley needs to be with his dad...and his dad needs to be with him, too. It helps him to remember why he's enduring the stress of becoming a paramedic. Treating medical problems is not toughest part for Neil right now, it's working with six to eight firefighters and medics all looking at him expectantly as he learns and tries to figure out what's going on. At AMR there are only two medics to an ambulance, but in a town like Redmond, where the fire department supplies the paramedics, the fire truck is sent out with the ambulance, so you have a whole group of people watching you and waiting to be told what to do. As the Person In Charge (PIC), which Neil has to be on a call for it to count toward completing his training, he has to give every single one of them a job or task, while trying to asses the patient at the same time. Yes, it's good training, but overwhelming when you're still trying to learn all the signs and symptoms of a patient...or trying to keep them alive. So far he's only had one fatality.
He'll get through it, and will have received better training in the end, having worked with a fire department, but when his preceptor tells him that other medics are forming opinions of him (though won't say what those opinions are), it weighs heavily on Neil and he doubts that he'll even make it. I'm very proud of him, though. He's handling the pressure well, not giving up and pushing himself to learn...which is actually a good reason for not being around him too much right now so he can focus on his training and not have us as a distraction. Six of one, half a dozen of the other, I suppose.
My life is full of things that keep it interesting, that's for sure!
Love,
Aislinn
It's been a rough week. My step-mom is not doing well. She's at their house in Arizona and my dad had to fly down to be with her. Things might be looking up now that he's there, but I'm not trusting it yet. She's really put my dad through hell recently, which is hard on us, too. As frustrated as I am by what we've been through, it's hard to forgive her for what she's doing to my dad - and to herself. That day will come, though, where I have to decide whether to forgive her and trust or to just say no thanks to the relationship. Being that she's my dad's wife, the latter option is not the best for all involved. But trusting her again will take a lot of time. For now, we're just waiting to see what direction she'll step into.
So, that's largely what I've been dealing with. The positive events have been being in a children's fashion show with Riley last Friday (I got to push him in a high-tech, $1000 stroller - and carry a very sweet little nine-month-old girl down the catwalk) and spending time with some friends' 10-year-old daughter, who was awesome help with Riley. And, I got to see Neil after two weeks apart. Riley was a little cautious with him at first, but by his bedtime he was crawling all over his dad and laughing and shrieking with him.
That's why I don't want to spend too much time apart. Riley needs to be with his dad...and his dad needs to be with him, too. It helps him to remember why he's enduring the stress of becoming a paramedic. Treating medical problems is not toughest part for Neil right now, it's working with six to eight firefighters and medics all looking at him expectantly as he learns and tries to figure out what's going on. At AMR there are only two medics to an ambulance, but in a town like Redmond, where the fire department supplies the paramedics, the fire truck is sent out with the ambulance, so you have a whole group of people watching you and waiting to be told what to do. As the Person In Charge (PIC), which Neil has to be on a call for it to count toward completing his training, he has to give every single one of them a job or task, while trying to asses the patient at the same time. Yes, it's good training, but overwhelming when you're still trying to learn all the signs and symptoms of a patient...or trying to keep them alive. So far he's only had one fatality.
He'll get through it, and will have received better training in the end, having worked with a fire department, but when his preceptor tells him that other medics are forming opinions of him (though won't say what those opinions are), it weighs heavily on Neil and he doubts that he'll even make it. I'm very proud of him, though. He's handling the pressure well, not giving up and pushing himself to learn...which is actually a good reason for not being around him too much right now so he can focus on his training and not have us as a distraction. Six of one, half a dozen of the other, I suppose.
My life is full of things that keep it interesting, that's for sure!
Love,
Aislinn
posted by Aislinn at
10:27 AM
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